


Child of the Universe

by Calliope_Euterpe



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Altean Alchemy, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-03-20 04:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18985279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calliope_Euterpe/pseuds/Calliope_Euterpe
Summary: "You are a child of the universe,no less than the trees and the stars;you have a right to be here.And whether or not it is clear to you,no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."Desiderata - Max Ehrmann"The goddess (for surely that is what she must be) chuckles at him and presses her lips to his forehead. 'You’d be surprised just how big an impact you will have, but worry not Stardust. When your task is complete, I can call you back to me, and return you to your drifting.'She runs her fingers through the back of his hair. He feels his eyes begin to fall close.'Now, listen closely,' she whispers, and his task is set."





	1. Memories of a Speck

 

> "You are a child of the universe,  
>  no less than the trees and the stars;  
>  you have a right to be here.  
>  And whether or not it is clear to you,  
>  no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."  
> 
> Desiderata - Max Ehrmann

* * *

At the center of everything, there is dust: the remaining bits and pieces of stars no longer able to burn. From these tiny specks, gravity shapes new universes into existence. They become planets, black holes, and even stars again. Then they collide, or explode or simply break apart, returning to dust once more. However, there is one speck of dust that does not join this cycle; it simply floats, observing as life begins and ends.

Disconnected.

“This is fine,” the speck would say if dust could speak or think or feel. “I belong nowhere. I belong to no one. I am no one.”

Perhaps the speck was truly content with its existence; perhaps it was a liar.

Either way, the speck’s reality was shattered as a pair of hands snatched it from the void and pulled it close.

It’s shoved back into the cycle and molded into a being, a man that once was.

He takes a breath...

In…

Out...

And remembers.

* * *

" _Grandmother,” he whispered into the darkness._

_“Yes?” A bright, raspy voice responded._

_“I can’t sleep. Will you tell me a story?”_

_“Which one tonight?”_

_“You know. My favorite.”_

_“Are you sure? It’s such a sad story. A happier one would help you sleep better.”_

_“Please.”_

_“...Okay.” She paused to cradle him close, and he burrowed into her warmth._

* * *

 

> " _Once upon a time, there was a talented man named Orpheus. As a son of the muse Calliope, music came as easily to him as breathing, and he had such a way with words, that he could convince the mountains to move._
> 
> _He fell in love with Eurydice, a beautiful nymph full of laughter and movement. She was a daughter of Apollo, and a dancer so graceful, she could walk on leaves carried by the wind.”_

* * *

_His ribs ached as he shuffled down the hall. Panting, he leaned against a wall, trying to orient himself. He squinted up at a nearby sign, but he couldn’t read the words written there. He wished he’d been able to protect his glasses, at least. His grandmother couldn’t afford to have them replaced again._

_He should have kept his stupid mouth shut._

_A sharp pain shot up his side, and he found himself collapsing on the floor. He coughed and spit out blood._

_“Dammit.”_

_He needed to get back to his room._

_“Dammit. Dammit.”_

_He didn’t think he could stand._

_“Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.”_

_“Hey,” someone interrupted his mantra. “Are you okay?”_

_He looked up, but could only vaguely make out the fuzzy outline of a guy._

_His vision wasn’t normally that bad. He likely had a concussion._

_“...Dammit.”_

_“...Can you tell me your name?”_

_The Guy knelt in front of him, and this close he could finally make out his features: black hair, a strong jaw, and surprisingly grey eyes. He’d never seen that color before._

_“Pretty,” he mumbled._

_The Guy frowned at him. He must not have been called pretty often. A travesty, really._

_“You’re in need of medical assistance,” The Guy announced, just like they’d been trained. “I’m going to take you to the infirmary, okay? Sorry, but this might hurt a little.”_

_That part was adlibbed._

_The Guy lifted him up as if he was a delicate flower, making sure to support his head. All the way to the infirmary, he didn’t stop talking to him, and his body radiated warmth like a furnace._

* * *

 

> _“Orpheus first saw Eurydice from a distance, as she was dancing in a meadow with her sisters. He’d never before seen anyone move with such abandon. Her freedom inspired him like nothing else before had. He was entranced._
> 
> _He approached her, slowly, strumming on his lyre. Eurydice and her sisters began matching their steps to his music. The more she moved, the longer he played until the sun had set and they sat against an oak tree in exhaustion._
> 
> _While they rested, Orpheus recited his poems, and Eurydice told the stories of the stars. They agreed to meet again the next day, and the next day and the next day and the next day. Amidst the dancing and the songs, laughter, and stories, they fell in love. It wasn’t long before the two were married. For a while, there was no one on Earth happier than them._
> 
> _But this happiness was not meant to last.”_

* * *

_"If you decide to go, don’t expect me to be here when you get back.”_

_The words tasted bitter, like coffee or poison, as they rolled off his tongue._

_Still, Takashi refused to look at him._

_His hands shook. A feeling of blackness swirled in his gut, begging to be released. Barbed words meant to hurt prickled in his throat. Oh, the ways he could scar the man he loved._

_He swallowed and lied about a class he didn’t have. He had to leave before he revealed more ugliness to Takashi than he already had._

_So he fled to the roof like a coward. He didn’t cry. He didn’t curse. He simply grew numb with resignation. After all, he’d known what Takashi would choose._

_He’d always known._

_Because he was nothing compared to the stars._

* * *

 

>   _“Kind Orpheus went away to a far off village to charm their rivers to flow once more. He was gone for weeks, and Eurydice missed him sorely. She sought the company of her sisters for comfort._
> 
> _They danced together in the forest every day, and just as she had caught the attention of Orpheus, Eurydice attracted a shepherd named_ _Aristaeus._
> 
> _Unlike Orpheus, Aristaeus was enraptured by Eurydice’s beauty and wanted to possess her._
> 
> _He isolated Eurydice from her sisters and professed his love and desire for her. She refused him and fled, but he pursued her, chasing her deeper and deeper into the forest. It soon grew dark, and difficult to see._
> 
> _Usually so graceful and sure, Eurydice lost her footing and fell in a pit of vipers.”_

* * *

_Heat bloomed across his face as the bright light of the enemy’s fire blinded him._

_He fell, the wind beating against his body. Blurry shapes of color and light sped past. It hurt to breathe. He couldn’t tell which way is up. Voices yelled in his ear, but their words didn’t make sense._

_For a second, he caught a whiff of his grandmother’s perfume, and he missed her so much he wanted to cry._

_“PARACHUTE!” Someone screamed, and years of training forced him to act._

_His fingers pulled the cord hanging from his suit, and his body jerked upwards as his fall began to slow._

_He closed his eyes and tried to think. The voices were yelling at him again, asking him questions and trying to instruct him, but he couldn’t focus on more than snippets of what they were saying._

_He was so tired._

_He wished Takashi was there._

_“LOOK OUT!”_

_He opened his eyes. Another beam of light was heading his way._

_Darkness followed._

* * *

 

> _"She_ _was bitten on the heel and died, scared and alone.”_

* * *

...Is that the end?

...Wasn’t there more?

...Why couldn’t he remember?

“It’s alright,” says a voice as melodic as a lyre. “You don’t need to remember it all now. It will come in time.”

He stares at the ethereal woman before him.

Her eyes are the shade of mystery, her skin is the color of warmth, her hair is made of blinding, white light, and her smile is full of stars.

She kneels as regal as a queen, and coos at him, caressing his cheek like a doting mother.

“You don’t belong here,” she says.

He nods.

He doesn’t belong here.

He doesn’t belong anywhere.

“You do belong somewhere.” She pets his head. “You see, I have a mission for you. There is something that must be put to rights, and it seems you are the only one who can help me.”

He doesn’t understand.

He is…

Was?

_...Is_ just a speck. Another, tiny cog in the machine of the universe.

How could he possibly make a difference?

The goddess (for surely that is what she must be) chuckles at him and presses her lips to his forehead. “You’d be surprised just how big an impact you will have, but worry not Stardust. When your task is complete, I can call you back to me, and return you to your drifting.”

She runs her fingers through the back of his hair. He feels his eyes begin to fall close.

“Now, listen closely,” she whispers, and his task is set.

* * *

He wakes screaming, the pain pulsing through his body impossible to handle. His face burns. His skin feels as if it’s melting off. His hands and legs are bound, otherwise, he’d be trying to pull the flesh from his bones.

A gag is forced into his mouth and a needle pushed into his vein. The pain dulls, along with his senses.

“What is your assessment?” A deep voice demands.

“Sir, his biological scans show that he is entirely human. There is no explanation for the markings on his face or the way they react to quintessence. It is unprecedented amongst the humans we have captured.”

“Run more tests, and extract from him all the information you can. It is no coincidence he appeared now. See if he can be of use to us.”

“Yes, sir.”

Another needle is shoved in his vein, and the pain begins again.


	2. The Man With Two Souls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I'm still writing this. Thanks to everyone who is reading.

 

> “A fight is going on inside me,” said a man to his grandson.
> 
> “It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One is evil. The other is good.  
>  This same fight is going on inside you and every other person.”
> 
> The grandson thought about the man’s words and frowned.
> 
> “Which wolf will win?” He asked.
> 
> The man smiled and simply said, “The one you feed.”

* * *

Seeing Adam’s name amongst the dead is a punch to the gut. 

_“Don’t expect me to be here when you get back.”_

The world tilts around him. His ears ring, his eyes sting and bile sits at the back of his throat waiting for a chance to escape.

But now is not the time to grieve.

“It’s because of them that Earth still has a chance,” Iverson says. “It’s time for our debriefing.”

Shiro drops his hand and locks away the swirling mess of emotion in his chest. A deep breath followed quickly by another, and he’s a soldier again. Strong. Stable.Nothing like the mess of a mourning man he so desperately wants to be.

* * *

_In the darkness of the Black Lion’s consciousness, he nearly lost himself. There was nothing to see and nothing to feel, just his own scattered thoughts longing for structure. He relied on vivid memories to keep him sane: the smell of the air preparing for a storm, Keith’s laughter the first time Shiro raced him across the desert, the taste of the blue goo the Paladin’s threw at each other, the throbbing pain of his first broken arm._

_The smell of Adam’s cologne on his pillows, the off-key humming Adam did whenever he was focused, the taste of Adam’s skin beneath his lips, the cloud-soft feel of Adam’s hair, and the bright hazel of Adam’s eyes._

_Adam. Adam. Adam._

_Everything came back to Adam._

_“Shiro,” Allura’s voice washed over him like a distant side. “It’s time to come home.”_

_His spirit trickled towards her, emerging from the far corners of the Black Lion. Her warmth was almost overwhelming compared to the darkness he’d known. He shied away, but Allura's spirit brushed against him._

_“It’s alright now,” she said without words, and he settled into her calming presence._

_She carried him to his waiting body. It was odd seeing himself from an outsider’s perspective, but the sight of Keith at his side was reassuring. Allura pressed her fingers to his body’s temples, and slowly, she guided his spirit inside._

_He first became aware of the cold ground beneath him, Keith's hand on his chest only slightly warmer. Blood pounded in his ears. He opened his eyes, blinded by the light of the world. His lungs ached, so he breathed, and sweet, painful air filled his chest. He jolted up, gasping. His bones and muscles were sore, and he didn’t have the strength to hold himself up. He began to fall, but Keith was there to catch him._

_The Lion's roared. The sound caused the air to vibrate around him. He heard cheering and crying and somehow managed to open his eyes. Keith was looking down at him, a swirl of emotions Shiro couldn't begin to decipher in his stare._

_“You found me.” He said, and there was so much more he had to say._

_“We’re glad you’re back,” responded Keith._

_“Rest,” whispered Allura._

_He gazed at the people he considered his family. They'd grown so much in the time they'd been without him. He'd watched them from a distance for who knows how long, all he wanted now was to embrace them, but he already felt his eyes begin to close once more._

_As he slipped into the darkness of sleep, he sensed something - someone - just at the edge of his mind, waiting._

* * *

It’s late at night when Shiro returns to the Garrison’s Memorial of Fallen Soldiers. The wall looms over him. He's astounded by the sheer number of names, all of the people lost in just a few short years. 

He should have ended the war that day he fought Zarkon. He shouldn’t have spent months trapped in the Black Lion. He should have done more to prepare Keith to be the Paladins’ leader. He should have tried harder to reach Lance or Pidge or Hunk or Allura. He should have been able to protect them better.

He should have-

_“You should have. You should have. You should have. What a pointless sentiment. It’s too late now, isn’t it? What’s done is done.”_

He ignores the voice as he’s learned to do these past few months.

He finds Adam’s name, so small amongst all the others, and traces his fingers over the plaque. He hates the picture they used. Adam looks so serious, and Shiro is so used to seeing him smile.

_“He wasn’t smiling the last time you saw him.”_

Shiro grits his teeth. Unbidden, the image of Adam saluting him as he boarded the ship for the Kerberos mission flashes in his mind. Stiff, blank-faced and cold. He stared into Shiro’s eyes, daring him to say something. Anything.

And Shiro just walked away.

_“Don’t expect me to be here when you get back.”_

He swallows the painful lump that rises in his throat.

He should have-

_“There you go again. Should’ve. Would’ve. Could’ve. As if you didn’t leave knowing just how much you were hurting him.”_

He tightens his jaw.

_“Poor Adam. You were the only person he had left in the world, and you abandoned him.”_

“Will you shut up?” He barks out loud. He quickly bites his tongue, but it’s too late. The voice laughs at him.

_“But you wanted to hurt him. You wanted to make sure he wouldn’t be there when you got back. It was suffocating having him depend on you so much.”_

“You don’t know _anything_ -”

 _“I. Know._ Everything. _Your memories are my own. This was my body. I lived as you for months and_ no one _noticed.”_

“STOP!”

_“I am you. You are me. We are one. It’s time you faced the truth.”_

“I SAID SHUT UP!”

"Lieutenant Shirogane?"

He jumps back from the memorial as if he was caught stealing. He’s breathing so hard he’s almost hyperventilating. He can only imagine what he looks like.

He forces himself to take a measured breath through his nose before turning to face whoever called out to him.

“Good evening, Officer McClain.” He greets.

“Just Veronica is fine, Sir.” She says, shuffling from foot to foot. Her hair is tied up in a half hazard bun, her face is scrubbed clean of makeup and she’s wearing a robe. 

“Just Shiro is fine, too.” He tries to smile, but it feels wrong. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Nothing in particular. My room’s nearby, and I heard shouting. Is everything alright?”

 _Everything’s fine,_ he wants to say. The words stick in his throat.

After a moment, Veronica walks towards him. She stops when she’s about a foot away and turns to the memorial. Her fingers find Adam’s picture immediately.

“He was a good man.” She whispers.

“You knew him?”

“He trained me for a year when I first became a senior officer. I learned a lot from him. I’d like to say we even became friends.” Her hand falls. “After the Galra invasion, we couldn’t get in contact with his next of kin. I was the one to clean out his room.”

“Oh,” is all Shiro can say.

“He didn’t have much, so I kept pretty much everything. I didn’t really know what else to do with it.” Veronica clears her throat. “If you want it-”

“Yes.” Shiro interrupts. “Please.”

She nods and gives Adam’s plaque a final, gentle stroke. 

“Come with me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inside of you are two wolves.  
> One is named Toby, the other is named Toby.  
> Both wolves are named Toby.


End file.
